The Broken Bumper
After nineteen years of driving on the road, I finally had my first car accident. A truck turned too sharply, rubbing against the front side of my parked car. This caused minor, but not insignificant, damage to the bumper and headlight. What made matters worse, I wasn’t even in the car when it happened.
You’ve probably experienced this to some extent. Perhaps your car was also damaged while parked, or maybe, you went through a major collision that totaled your vehicle and caused bodily injury. Whatever the case may be, it’s not easy when events like this occur.
For most people, our cars are one of our most important and valuable possessions. We rely on them to get to work, buy groceries, and transport our family. Purchasing a car may require years of monthly payments. They’re also another way we express ourselves to others, including our personality, lifestyle, and status. Because of all of this, when our car gets damaged, it may feel like we ourselves were hurt.
I know I felt that way. After learning about the accident, I initially reacted with frustration and anger. My car is relatively new, a 2021 Subaru Crosstrek. It has never been damaged before, and while the repairs are only cosmetic and paid fully by the other party, it has forever lost its “perfection” in my mind. This experience seems all negative, but upon reflection, I’ve gained a few positive realizations.
Acceptance
When something undesirable and unexpected happens to us, like a car accident, I’ve realized we have two choices on how to react. My recent experience gave me an opportunity to practice this.
I first became aware of the accident through a phone call. The person who caused the accident personally reached out to me with the bad news. They told me they accidentally hit my car, and sincerely apologized. I replied calmly, assuring them it was fine, but deep down, I began to feel frustrated and even slightly angry. It was at this point I needed to make a decision.
Do I refuse the situation?
Or, do I accept the situation and move on?
I knew that if I chose the first reaction, my negative feelings would grow stronger and stronger. I would eventually feel livid and vindictive, so in order to satisfy these harsh feelings, I’d crave revenge against the person who wronged me. I’d want them to suffer as I did, even though the damage was already done and it probably wouldn’t make me feel any better in the end.
If I chose the second reaction, I’d feel and think different. Instead of feeling a fiery rage, I’d feel calm and rational. Rather than thirsting for revenge, I’d focus my energy on creating a solution. I wouldn’t have hard feelings on the person either, just empathetic understanding and forgiveness. Mistakes like this happen to all of us, so there’s nothing to get angry about. Just take a breath, accept it, and move on.
Which do you think is superior?
I decided on the second reaction. It made the whole situation much more healthy to deal with. I prevented myself from being overwhelmed by savage feelings for something that I couldn’t change. I also kept my respect for the individual who caused the accident, which allowed me to keep respect for myself. All of this helped me make my next positive realization.
True Value
At the time of the accident, this event was the most important focus of my life. It pretty much took all of my energy, attention, and emotion. It completely consumed me, until I realized it shouldn’t.
Instead of getting overwhelmed by the moment, I considered the big picture. How will I likely feel about this car accident on my deathbed? How about in twenty years, or even just one year?
Probably a lot less. I’ll likely feel that the accident wasn’t that bad at all. In fact, I’ll probably see it as a humorous event. It will be a distant blip of my past, just like many other significant events I once experienced. What I will remember however, is not the car itself, but how I reacted and treated the people involved.
- Was I a spiteful child who reacted with anger and pettiness, or a reasonable adult who viewed the event as a passing experience to learn from?
- Did I seek hateful vengeance against the person who damaged my car, or did I treat them with empathy and forgiveness?
I believe that in the end, how we react and act, and the relationships we had with others, is infinitely more valuable than the inanimate possessions we once owned. We’ll forget those objects, but we’ll never forget how we treated ourselves and the people in our life.
Understanding the true value of things is an important realization I had from my car accident, but there is one more.
Life is Unpredictable
I did not expect this accident to occur. It just happened on its own. I was minding my own business at work, then BAM, I receive a phone call about the accident. It was the last thing on my mind, but it occurred regardless.
This happens in life occasionally. We receive news of a major event that completely blind-sided us. For example, we get a phone call from a police officer who informs us our loved one is in the ER (Emergency Room) due to a terrible accident. Or, we go to the doctor regarding a slight pain, only to learn a few weeks later that it’s a deadly cancer. Events like this happen all time, but we almost never expect it.
My recent car accident reminded me of this. Life is unpredictable, there are some things we can’t expect or anticipate. They just happen whether if we want them or not. While we can try our best to avoid undesirable events, sometimes they just occur. They are just a part of life we need to deal with.
When they do eventually happen, this is when the first two realizations become useful- Acceptance and True Value. By applying those perspectives to difficult situations that are forced upon us, we can better control how we react to them, allowing us to act in a more calm and rational way.
Just like my car accident, anything can happen in life. It is at these moments we are truly tested as individuals. We can either use these difficult events for our personal growth, or we can let them consume us with darkness. Whatever happens, the choice is always yours.
If you enjoyed reading this, please subscribe to my email list. By joining for free, you’ll receive an email with my latest article whenever I publish one. I’d appreciate it.
-Aaron
The Broken Bumper
After nineteen years of driving on the road, I finally had my first car accident. A truck turned too sharply, rubbing against the front side of my parked car. This caused minor, but not insignificant, damage to the bumper and headlight. What made matters worse, I wasn’t even in the car when it happened.
You’ve probably experienced this to some extent. Perhaps your car was also damaged while parked, or maybe, you went through a major collision that totaled your vehicle and caused bodily injury. Whatever the case may be, it’s not easy when events like this occur.
For most people, our cars are one of our most important and valuable possessions. We rely on them to get to work, buy groceries, and transport our family. Purchasing a car may require years of monthly payments. They’re also another way we express ourselves to others, including our personality, lifestyle, and status. Because of all of this, when our car gets damaged, it may feel like we ourselves were hurt.
I know I felt that way. After learning about the accident, I initially reacted with frustration and anger. My car is relatively new, a 2021 Subaru Crosstrek. It has never been damaged before, and while the repairs are only cosmetic and paid fully by the other party, it has forever lost its “perfection” in my mind. This experience seems all negative, but upon reflection, I’ve gained a few positive realizations.
Acceptance
When something undesirable and unexpected happens to us, like a car accident, I’ve realized we have two choices on how to react. My recent experience gave me an opportunity to practice this.
I first became aware of the accident through a phone call. The person who caused the accident personally reached out to me with the bad news. They told me they accidentally hit my car, and sincerely apologized. I replied calmly, assuring them it was fine, but deep down, I began to feel frustrated and even slightly angry. It was at this point I needed to make a decision.
Do I refuse the situation?
Or, do I accept the situation and move on?
I knew that if I chose the first reaction, my negative feelings would grow stronger and stronger. I would eventually feel livid and vindictive, so in order to satisfy these harsh feelings, I’d crave revenge against the person who wronged me. I’d want them to suffer as I did, even though the damage was already done and it probably wouldn’t make me feel any better in the end.
If I chose the second reaction, I’d feel and think different. Instead of feeling a fiery rage, I’d feel calm and rational. Rather than thirsting for revenge, I’d focus my energy on creating a solution. I wouldn’t have hard feelings on the person either, just empathetic understanding and forgiveness. Mistakes like this happen to all of us, so there’s nothing to get angry about. Just take a breath, accept it, and move on.
Which do you think is superior?
I decided on the second reaction. It made the whole situation much more healthy to deal with. I prevented myself from being overwhelmed by savage feelings for something that I couldn’t change. I also kept my respect for the individual who caused the accident, which allowed me to keep respect for myself. All of this helped me make my next positive realization.
True Value
At the time of the accident, this event was the most important focus of my life. It pretty much took all of my energy, attention, and emotion. It completely consumed me, until I realized it shouldn’t.
Instead of getting overwhelmed by the moment, I considered the big picture. How will I likely feel about this car accident on my deathbed? How about in twenty years, or even just one year?
Probably a lot less. I’ll likely feel that the accident wasn’t that bad at all. In fact, I’ll probably see it as a humorous event. It will be a distant blip of my past, just like many other significant events I once experienced. What I will remember however, is not the car itself, but how I reacted and treated the people involved.
-
Was I a spiteful child who reacted with anger and pettiness, or a reasonable adult who viewed the event as a passing experience to learn from?
-
Did I seek hateful vengeance against the person who damaged my car, or did I treat them with empathy and forgiveness?
I believe that in the end, how we react and act, and the relationships we had with others, is infinitely more valuable than the inanimate possessions we once owned. We’ll forget those objects, but we’ll never forget how we treated ourselves and the people in our life.
Understanding the true value of things is an important realization I had from my car accident, but there is one more.
Life is Unpredictable
I did not expect this accident to occur. It just happened on its own. I was minding my own business at work, then BAM, I receive a phone call about the accident. It was the last thing on my mind, but it occurred regardless.
This happens in life occasionally. We receive news of a major event that completely blind-sided us. For example, we get a phone call from a police officer who informs us our loved one is in the ER (Emergency Room) due to a terrible accident. Or, we go to the doctor regarding a slight pain, only to learn a few weeks later that it’s a deadly cancer. Events like this happen all time, but we almost never expect it.
My recent car accident reminded me of this. Life is unpredictable, there are some things we can’t expect or anticipate. They just happen whether if we want them or not. While we can try our best to avoid undesirable events, sometimes they just occur. They are just a part of life we need to deal with.
When they do eventually happen, this is when the first two realizations become useful- Acceptance and True Value. By applying those perspectives to difficult situations that are forced upon us, we can better control how we react to them, allowing us to act in a more calm and rational way.
Just like my car accident, anything can happen in life. It is at these moments we are truly tested as individuals. We can either use these difficult events for our personal growth, or we can let them consume us with darkness. Whatever happens, the choice is always yours.
If you enjoyed reading this, please subscribe to my email list. By joining for free, you’ll receive an email with my latest article whenever I publish one. I’d appreciate it.
-Aaron